Permission Granted

She sees a cute guy across the room and asks her friends, “Should I go talk to him?”  Yes!  Go!

 

She turns around gazing at herself in the dressing room mirror.  “What do you think?  Should I buy it?  It’s more than I was going to spend.”  Yes!  You look awesome in that dress!

 

She hears about a new position opening up in another department and asks her coworkers over lunch, “What do you think?  Should I apply for it?”  Yes!  Do it!

 

Why do so many of us ask permission in life?  Why do we need outside approval to make us feel that it is okay to go after our dreams?  It seems like so many of us feel a little guilty, selfish, or arrogant if we give ourselves permission to make big bold moves towards our goals.  It is as if the inner critic is asking, “Just who do you think you are?”  We need our friends to play the role of cheerleaders and we need them to give us permission to aspire to more.  If someone else gives me permission, then I’ll go ahead and do it!

 

Personal growth is getting to that point in life where you are your own cheerleader; you give yourself permission to dream big and to go after those dreams.  There will always be a place in our hearts for dear friends that cheer us on, but knowing that you do not NEED them in order to go after your goals is a powerful thing.  Sometimes our friends are busy, out of town, or simply unaware of our needs.  You cannot hold yourself back just because there is nobody around to give you permission to move forward.

 

Did Amelia Earhart need to ask permission?  Did Harriet Tubman ask permission?  Did Hillary Clinton ask permission?  Did Margaret Thatcher ask permission?  Did Cher or Madonna ask permission?  Did Susan B Anthony ask permission?  Did Oprah or Ellen ask permission?  The history books are full of women who did great things, entertaining things, fun things, and sometimes very important and controversial things without ever asking permission first.

 

And the world is full of everyday women that you will never read about in the papers, they will never be famous, they are mothers, employees, sisters, business owners, daughters, and everything else imaginable.  And they do small things, big things, brave things, and adventurous things all of the time without asking permission first.  Sometimes they fail and sometimes they succeed.  They grow, they learn from their mistakes, they inspire others, and they are our everyday heroes.  Why not you?  Why shouldn’t you be one of those brave women who say, “Why not?” when an opportunity presents itself?

 

What is it that you need to have happen before you can give yourself permission to be happy, successful, funny, sexy, or whatever else you are waiting for?  Do you need somebody to come along and give you permission to be wonderful?  Do you need to practice giving yourself permission on a few small issues first?  Maybe practice saying, “Yes, I can” on some relatively unimportant topics first?  Then as you grow more self-assured, you can give yourself permission to go after some small dreams, then some bigger dreams?  Do you need to give yourself permission to fail and to be less than perfect once in awhile so that you won’t feel bad if things don’t work out every single time?  Do you need someone to anoint you as “good enough” first and then you will believe it and start giving yourself permission to take chances and go after your dreams?

 

Start by giving yourself permission to screw up.  Then move on to giving yourself permission to succeed once in a while.  After that, it gets much easier; most of our efforts fall somewhere in between.  As you begin to succeed more often, you will get braver and it won’t be so difficult to take chances and to try new things. 

 

What if nobody ever gives you permission?  Will you regret it years from now when you are an old woman?  Will you beat yourself up for waiting around for someone else to give you permission?  Will you be okay with NEVER living out your dream because you waited for someone else to deem you worthy of achieving it?  Don’t you owe it to yourself to at least try?

 

What if nothing bad happens?  What if it turns out okay and you really had no reason to be afraid of taking a chance after all?  What if you got yourself all worked up over nothing?  What if you stopped yourself from going after your dreams and they were completely obtainable?  What if your fears were not based in reality?  What if behind the scenes, things were really much easier than you assumed?

 

And more importantly, what if you are fabulous?  What if you were meant to be clever, sassy, inspirational, or brilliant?  What if you were meant to succeed and role model confidence and a “can-do” attitude for your friends, your daughters, your sister, or your mother?  What if they are waiting to see if you succeed before taking their own frightening first steps towards their goals and dreams?  What if you were meant to be amazing? 

 

What if your gift somehow makes the world a better place?  What if your small success is a stepping-stone for someone else who is about to do something magnificent?  What if he is your prince charming and nobody is around to give you permission to walk up to him and introduce yourself?  What if that dress is just the thing to give you more confidence and nobody is around to give you permission to splurge on yourself?  What if you are the best person for the job and nobody knows it because you have been playing small and unimportant?  Why not you?  Why ask permission?  Why wait for outside approval?  What if it is exhilarating?!