| · Sex is Evil, Evil is sin, Sins are Forgiven, So Sex is In! | · Viagra now available in powder to put in tea, does nothing for erections but stops your biscuit from going soft. |
| | |
| · An erection at will is the moral equivalent of a valid credit card | · Without a doubt, women are the foundation stone of the society; but always remember who laid them! |
| | |
| · If necessity is the mother of invention, then… Frustration is the father of masturbation! | · Always marry a woman with small palms. It makes your dick look bigger ! |
| | |
| · I believe in safe sex...I've got a handrail around the bed. | · Just remember: No matter how hot & sexy a babe is, someone somewhere is tired of fuckin her! |
| | |
| · The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you. | · Life without Friends is like Boobs without Nipples... POINTLESS ! |
| | |
| · Go braless: it'll pull the wrinkles out of your face. | · The importance of UNITY explained at it's best: What did one leg of a woman tell dthe other: UNITED we are saved, Divided we are Fucked. |
| · Old Proverb: A smile is a curve that makes everything straight. | · Slogan on a boy's T-shirt: Please tell your boobs not to stare at my eyes. |
| | |
| · In life, never look down on anybody, unless you are getting a lovely view of the cleavage! | · The definition of an optimist is a woman who loads up the CD changer before making love. |
| | |
| · When the toilet paper of experience is depleted, the *** of reason goes unwiped. | · My wife and I finally became sexually compatible... We achieve simultaneous headaches. |
| | |
| · Are you free tonight, or will it cost me? | · Go on. Add some variety to your sex life... Use the other hand! |
| | |
| · Memory is like an orgasm. It's a lot better if you don't have to fake it. | · Fuck a girl & she'll love you... Love a girl & she'll fuck you! |
| | |
| · A hooker once told me she had a headache. | · Most men have split personalities; They hate cats but love pussies. |
| · Men give love to get sex, Women give sex to get love. | · Most men approve of premarital sex until daughters are born. |
| | |
| · A pussy is like a potato chip: You can't eat just one. | · Did God make you an asshole, or did you evolve? |
| | |
| · A hooker once told me she had a headache. | · Men play the game. Women know the score. |
| | |
| · Too much sex is not good for one but rather nice for two! | · A girl can be poor in history but great on dates! |
| | |
| · Women like to spoon in bed, whereas men just like to fork. | · Go on. Add some variety to your sex life... Use the other hand! |
| | |
| · Are you free tonight, or will it cost me? | · My wife and I finally became sexually compatible...We achieve simultaneous headaches. |
| · When the toilet paper of experience is depleted, the ass of reason goes unwiped. | · Nature invented sex as a reward for letting go of childhood. |
| | |
| · The definition of an optimist is a woman who loads up the CD changer before making love. | · Viagra now available in powder to put in tea, does nothing for erections but stops your biscuit from going soft. |
| | |
| · Money is just like arse... Everybody has it, but nobody wants to give it ! | · Practice safe sex, go fuck yourself. |
| | |
| · Height of conceit : Having an orgasm and calling out your own name. | · My wife says my sex drive has taken up walking. |
| | |
| · 9 out of 10 men prefer large breasts. The other man prefers the 9 men. | · Cleavage is something you can look down on and approve of at the same time |
| | |
| · Money is jst like arse... everybody has it, but.... nobody wants to give it ! | · Success is like masturbation, only ur own hand can let u acheive it. |
| · Educatuon is like hiring a prostitute, it needs both money & hard work. | · Work is like a gangbang, ten people are behind ur ass 2 take ur place. |
| | |
| · Fate is like getting raped, if u can't fight it learn to njoy it. | · Success is like masturbation, only ur own hand can let u acheive it. |
| | |
| · Men are like vacations...They never seem to last long enough | · I believe in safe sex...I've got a handrail around the bed |
| | |
| · Is that a ladder in your stockings or the stairway to heaven? | · I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight |
| | |
| · You know, if I were you, I'd have sex with me | · All those who proclaim that dog is man's best friend, have evidently not played with a pussy. |
| | |
| · Civilized people need love for full sexual satisfaction | · Without a doubt, women are the foundation stone of the society; but always remember who laid them! |
| · Love is not the dying moan of a distant violin- it's the triumphant twang of a bedspring | · Masturbation is like procrastination, it's all good and fun until you realize you are only fucking yourself. |
| | |
| · An erection at will is the moral equivalent of a valid credit card | · Go braless: it'll pull the wrinkles out of your face |
| | |
| · The irony of a blow job is that even if you have her at your feet she's got you by the balls. | · I'm definitely claustrophobic. I have a morbid fear of tight spaces. Thankfully, with my girlfriend, I'll never have a problem with that |
| | |
| · Friends are like condoms; they protect you when things get hard | · You know it's always business doing pleasure with you |
| | |
| · I am skilled at the art of love. I just wish I had a bigger paintbrush | · The only loss that causes sense of achievement is Virginity. |
| | |
| · A girl is said to be grown up when she starts wearing a bra. A boy is grown up when he starts removing it | · I guess you could call me a polygamist.Sometimes I switch hands. |
| · Without nipples, breasts would be pointless. | · Make love not war because Condoms are cheaper than Guns! |
| | |
| · Silence doesn't mean your sexual performance left her speechless. | · Never dance naked because the body has parts that do not stop moving when the music stops. |
| | |
| · Hi. I'm an astronaut, and my next mission is to explore Uranus. | · Definition of will power: Looking into the eyes of a topless waitress! |
| | |
| · It is good for girl to meet boy in park, but better for boy to park meat in girl | · One of the side effects of Viagra is a headache. Every time I take a pill, my wife gets a headache. |
| | |
| · I think my girlfriend has had sixty-one boyfriends before me. She calls me her sixty second lover. | · There is a tax on sex... it's called 'children'. |
| | |
| · Happiness is like penis; always looks small if you hold it in your hands but when you learn to share it, you'll realize how big & precious it is! | · Sex is the only activity where you start at the top and work your way to the bottom, while getting a raise. |
| · girl who opens her hands receives gifts. Who opens her heart receives love. Who opens her legs receives HAPPENIS. | · Wives are funny creatures... They don't have sex with their husbands for weeks and then they want to kill the woman who does! |
| | |
| · Too much arousal can bring on a hard-attack. | · New AIDS awareness slogan: Try different positions with the same woman instead of same position with different women. |
| | |
| · Guys are like roses, just watch out for the pricks. | · Go on. Add some variety to your sex life...Use the other hand! |
| | |
| · I'm so horny, I get aroused when I squeeze into a tight parking place. | · College is like a woman; you work so hard to get in and nine months later you wish you'd never come. |
| | |
| · Honeymoon Salad: Lettuce alone, with no dressing. | · Text msgs are like a blow job from an amateur prostitute......short sweet and cheap! |
| | |
| · I think I've reached my sexpiration date. | · Men are like bagpipes... you won`t get anywhere unless you blow them first! |
| · My pregnant girlfriend reminds me of a burned cake. I wish I had removed it a minute earlier. | · I Must Be a Proctologist Because I Work With Assholes. |
| | |
| · Sex is the only activity where you start at the top and work your way to the bottom, while getting a raise. | · Do a mouse a favour... Eat a Pussy! |
| | |
| · When I was a baby, I played with toys. Now I'm a lady and I play with boys! | · Vitamins are good for what ails you. Viagra is good for what fails you. |
| | |
| · If it were truly the thought that counted, more women would be pregnant. | · Text messaging is like a blowjob off an amateur prostitute; short...sweet and always cheap! |
| | |
| · When I was a baby, I played with toys. Now I'm a lady and I play with boys! | · If you are being raped and you cannot defend yourself... keep still and enjoy it! |
| | |
| · Life is like a dick! When it's hard Fuck it! | · Whenever you feel low, depressed or useless, remember that you are the same sperm that won a battle against a million others. |
No comments:
Post a Comment