One Line Humor

[1] Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while
driving.
 
[2] Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee.
 
[3] Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and
the other is the husband!
 
[4] I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried - but they
wanted cash.
 
[5] A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've
purchased new school uniforms.
 
[6] Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.
 
[7] Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you
cannot live without, but whatever you do, you'll regret it later.
 
[8] You can't buy love, but you pay heavily for it.
 
[9] Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.
 
[10] Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get
tired.
 
[11] Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll
take it anyway.
 
[12] My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and she agrees
with me.
 
[13] Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.
 
[14] Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.
 
[15] A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always
with the same person.
 
[16] You're getting old when you enjoy remembering things more than
doing them.
 
[17] It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still
ends up with the same boss.
 
[18] Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address
books.
 
[19] Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it
for you.
 
[20] Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk
because they have to say something
 
[21] They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom
gets to speak!
 
[22] Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but then the thought of long life will never come.
 
[23]Why do couples hold hands during their wedding? It's a formality
just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!
 
[24]Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.
 
[25]It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged. It's like
asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.
 
[26]There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has
it.
 
[27]There is only one perfect wife in the world and every neighbor has
it!