SOFT KISS...

SOFT KISS...The Kissing Style of a Software Engineer!

It happened when I was in B. Tech 3rd year. We were four girls stayed in that spacious university hostel room. In those days we always preferred to stay with other branch students because if classmates are room mates, they may come to know the secrecy of our preparation for good score in exams and may come for competition in ranking. Not only that, they may come competition to our boy friends too. This thinking was present in every student of the campus. So, every one was happy with other branch students as room mates. In that way Anuradha, IT student became my room mate.

One fine sun day I was preparing notes. Observed Anu (Anuradha) doing some thing. I didn't care first, serious in preparing notes. Other two room mates went out with visitors. After an hour preparation, I looked up for relaxation. To my surprise Anu was still doing some thing which I could not understand even a bit. I observed her carefully. She was referring a paper and doing some physical movements. I felt those movements like the steps of the song… 

ONE TWO CHA CHA CHA
THREE FOUR CHA CHA CHA

I asked her what it is. Then, she told me about this SOFT KISS which I am sharing with you all.

Anu said "Sneha, you know I am in love with my senior Prashant. He is also showing interest in me. Yesterday he proposed for kissing. I felt very happy. But instead of kissing immediately, he gave this program and told me to prepare perfectly as per the program. Then only he will kiss me."

I was in utter confusion "program for what?"
She said "program for how to kiss."
It was a great shock to me. Until that time I didn't know prior preparation is required for kissing and there exists a program on how to kiss.
Anu asked me "Sneha…if you are not preparing notes now, please help me for some time. I am unable to practice while reading the steps in that program."
I nodded my head with curiosity to see what is there in that program. I am placing that program as it is. 

********************************************
file Name: SOFTKISS.c 
Interface: result() returns a wonderful kissing experience.
Using: Use high heel shoes, via GirlHeight() sub-program.
Input: Reads an expression from this program and practice.
Output: The result of the practice makes you suitable for kissing experience.

After reading this I lifted my head with full of astonishment.
Controlled my laugh, I said "Anu…it seems Prashant is genius. He wrote INPUT and OUTPUT in kissing experience."
But Anu was very nervous and was doing that
ONE TWO CHA CHA CHA
THREE FOUR CHA CHA CHA
She said with sad face "I am unable to perform this step."

Huh… I looked into paper to see what is there next.

Send errors to Prashant (B. Tech (IT)-4th year) based on practical difficulties.

My face became thousand watt bulb. "WOW Anu…You can reject this program by saying your practical difficulties."

But she was still in the sad mood and told "Read next"

Note: Already experimented on several girls by my friends and got BEST results.

"Oops. It seems this Prashant got cent percent marks in C-programs." I thought I felt it but unknowingly said it aloud.
Anu reacted immediately with happy face "Exactly Sneha, he got 100% marks in Programming languages."
She asked me with wide opened eyes "How do you know Sneha?"
I got pity on myself. Anu came near me and lifted my chin and said "Please…Please…Please Sneha. Please Help, I wish to have Soft Kiss experience tomorrow."

No way to escape. So prepared my mind to read the program and help my friend Anu. So, I started reading every step of the program aloud.

*******************************************
#include <Wear Sari> /* For Sexy appearance */

Immediately Anu ran to her cup-board and brought pink color chiffon sari which she got as birth day presentation from her parents.
I said "Good selection."
She felt happy and kept it back.

#include <Take Head bath> /* To avoid irritation by oily hair. */

Anu showed new Shampoo bottle which she bought in the morning.
I nodded my head positively.

#include <Use mouth freshener> /* Fragrance of mouth freshener encourages man to kiss*/

Anu showed not one but a dozen mouth freshener chewing gums.
I raised my eye brows in appreciation to her preparation.


If I go like this, it may kill my precious time. Thinking in that way I jumped to the important program part where Anu needs my assistance.

for 1 to 10 seconds
     {
       take deep breath;
     }
End 

Anu told me to check time and announce after 10 seconds.
Immediately Anu took deep breath for 10 seconds. I nodded but entered into thoughts "what is this? Do we need deep breathing exercise in kissing?"
In the middle of my thoughts I heard Anu's cry "Sneha…TIME".
I came to this world and checked my watch. Oops 25 seconds.
Huh…its impossible for me to announce these timings. So told her "Anu…at the kissing scene I will not be present to announce time na. So, count slowly one, two, three upto ten. Tenth digit indicates 10th second".
"Yeah…that's great" she accepted happily.

for 11 to 15 seconds
      {
        stretch your right hand;
        Take out mouth freshener;
      }
     for 16 to 40 seconds
           {
             Chew the mouth freshener;
           }
    End
End

Now without my guidance Anu practiced this step with her silent counting method. Even after 50th second she didn't do which I wished. She was staring at me for next instruction.
I asked her "where did you throw that chewed thing."
"He didn't write that step, at the time of kissing we should not feel inconvenient. So, swallowed it."
OMG…I didn't know that this much difficulty exists in kissing episode.

while (mouth is fresh and time is less than 80 seconds)
       {
         Take two steps back
         Take two steps forward
         Bend back a little.
         if (you feel comfortable)
             {
               Touch your man's hand; 
               Tell him u r ready;
             }
      else
             {
               Take your hand bag;
               And Get Lost;
             }
end 

I didn't read other details of this program and its sub programs, told Anu I have got urgent assignment to finish. I was frightened by this program to such an extent, leave what happened on the next day between Anu and Prashant, I never asked her but took decision to be 10 feet away from software engineers.  Even now if I hear any one introducing himself as software engineer, automatically my mind directs me to keep a 10 feet distance.